Coping with Grief During the Holidays

The holiday season is often portrayed as joyful, warm, and full of celebration. Yet for anyone grieving a loved one, this time of year can feel heavy and overwhelming. The contrast between societal expectations and internal reality can intensify sadness, loneliness, or guilt. If this season feels painful rather than festive, you are not alone. Grief does not follow a calendar, and you can navigate the season at your own pace.

 

Why Holidays Can Intensify Grief

Holidays often highlight routines, traditions, and people we miss the most. When someone important is no longer physically present, the emotional impact can be especially sharp. You may feel pressure to “be happy” or act like everything is normal. This emotional conflict can create fatigue, irritability, or a desire to withdraw.

 

Let Yourself Feel What You Feel

Many people try to push down their grief to “get through” the holidays. But suppressing emotions often leads to more distress. Allowing yourself to feel sadness, anger, confusion, or longing is part of healing. Give yourself permission to experience the season in whatever way feels most supportive.

Some people find comfort in maintaining old traditions. Others feel relief in creating new ones. Both approaches are valid. What matters is choosing what feels right for you, not what others expect.

 

Create Space to Honour Your Loved One

Finding intentional ways to remember your loved one can help bring meaning and connection into the holiday season. Consider:

• Lighting a candle in their honour
• Sharing stories or memories during a meal
• Hanging a special ornament
• Playing their favourite song
• Doing an activity they loved

Honouring them does not keep you stuck in grief. It keeps their memory close.

 

Reach Out for Support

Grief can feel isolating, especially when others seem caught up in the season. You do not need to carry everything alone. Talk to someone you trust, whether it is a friend, family member, or mental health professional. Sometimes even a short conversation can bring relief.

 

Take Care of Your Body and Mind

Grief affects your whole system. Small acts of care can make a meaningful difference:

• Prioritize sleep as much as possible
• Eat nourishing foods
• Take breaks when you feel overwhelmed
• Spend time outdoors or in nature
• Limit alcohol if you notice it worsens your mood

Gentle routines help your nervous system settle during emotionally charged times.

 

Give Yourself Compassion

The holidays may never feel exactly the same, and that is okay. Healing does not mean forgetting. It means learning to carry your love and your loss in a way that feels more manageable over time.

If you take things slowly, set boundaries, and offer yourself kindness, you can move through the season with intention rather than pressure. Your grief matters, your feelings are real, and you deserve support as you navigate this difficult time.

If you feel you could use extra support, reach out to connect with one of our therapists—we’re here to walk alongside you.

 

Reviewed and edited by Hannah Robinson RP (Registered Psychotherapist) at Finding Solutions Together.